25 replies to this topic

[*D*]

Had a recent falling out with a very good friend, and I want you guys to be honest, and tell me who the asshole is. If you think I am wrong, I totally understand. I just need some outside perspective on the situation.

Guy I am talking about, graduated with me from our program in College. Guy has always been like a father figure to me. very close friends we are/were. Well, as i was going through a tough financial stretch, I sold him one of my guitars for 275 bucks. This was a 700 dollar Fender strat, but i had to have quick cash, so i let it go cheap. Anyhow, he told me, once I got on my feet, He'd sell it back to me for same price.

K, so fast forward a little bit, right around Thanksgiving or so... he and i go to a continuing ed seminar together.. when we get back, he asked me if I still wanted that guitar. I said yeah, I'd love to have it back, but understand if u are now attached to it and don't wanna sell it. He said he'd def sell it back cause he knows how much i love it etc...

So anyway, I told him I didn't have the cash but would save up and buy it back when i got the money. He wouldn't hear of it. He told me i could take the guitar and I could pay him whenever i got it, he knew i was good for it. Once again, I politely declined. said I could send payments and once i reached the price, He could then give it to me, but once again he insisted i go ahead and take the guitar. So finally i gave in and took it.

So when i was looking for a car. He helped me big time finding what i wanted etc and helped me get a good deal as i am not very good at that kind of thing... Dealer wanted 500 down and i told him if i got the car, I wouldn't be able to pay him until prob late Feb/Early march when i got income tax. he once again tells me, don't worry man, i know u are good for it, no worries.

So anyhow, i get a random text from him saying he needed some money on the guitar ASAP and gave me his address..... Thought.. ok this is kinda weird.... but sent out a 50 dollar check just to give him something to show i was respecting his wishes.. 50 is all i could spare.. had a ton of shit go wrong and just kinda broke.

So anyway, week or so later, i get an email.. he telling me that he appreciates me trying to send "something" but to put the 50 back in my account as he shredded my check. Said how i have his money and guitar and he wants me to send half by 14th, rest by end of month and to treat this like any other debt.


That shit completely rubbed me the wrong way... i am absolutely pissed...I told him had i known he wanted that by certain date, i wouldn't have taken it. i am tempted to send him the money AND the guitar back and a giant FUCK U.. what do u guys think??

[Mr. Roboto]

Who cares, you've got the guitar...hahahahaha

Seriously though, I don't understand what his problem is. Why not take the 50 (it's better than nothing) and then lean on your for more? This way he's still getting nothing at the present moment. Just try to pay him off as quickly as you can and KEEP the guitar, don't give it back. Resend the 50 bucks and tell him you'll pay the balance off before anything else (and then do that.)

my .02

[lynn]

I think he's acting like a complete bipolar asshole. You got a credit card that you can borrow $775 cash from? If so, pay the fucker back and be done with him. Friends don't treat friends like that.

[*D*]

Thanks guys.

I guess my thing is.. he coulda came out me a different way about it. we have been friends for years. He came at me like some douchebag bill collector that calls u at 8pm on ur phone..

just say, hey man, i know i said i was in no rush, but im in a jam and would really appreciate it if u could pay me as quick as possible. etc etc

Thats cool.. I'll go borrow it if i have to if u come at me like that.. the way he did though... just really offended me like i was some dead beat.

He is kinda "Babyish" I've noticed over the years...... He asked me to go to a seminar with him Jan 21st... and i couldn't go because i was just worn out... so i think he got mad i didn't go.

[lynn]

You're exactly right. He truly could have and should have approached it differently, especially if you've been friends for a long time. Life's too short and is not worth wasting time on the drama that some people like to create for themselves.

[Mr. Roboto]

Then again maybe his passive way for "requesting" money (ie, "just pay me back whenever you're good for it") was really him saying "pay me back now, I need the money."

You never know what people are thinking.

[*D*]

True.. kinda felt he forced it on me though insisting i take it....... I wanted it but i got a 4000 dollar Les Paul.. really was in no hurry to get that one back....... So i felt i was kinda cornered into buying it back on his time frame.

[Mr. Roboto]

This is why I don't loan money or borrow money from people.

[Zimbochick]

I agree, pay him back ASAp and be done with it. Money and friendships are a lethal combination.

[VOR]

Well, I think your friend may have been able to express himself a bit more diplomatically. He was probably thinking $50.00 is a paltry amount of money based on the time period you have had the guitar back in your possession. If you do the math and assume you have been in possession of the guitar since around Thanksgiving, that is approximately 10 weeks. He is probably thinking that $50.00 divided by 10 (weeks) is $5.00 per week. Maybe he would have been less offended if you had sent him $100.00 which would amount to $10.00 per week.

He is probably sitting around thinking that you wasted at least $5.00 a week on some shit combo meal from a fast food joint and feels slighted. Granted, you may have been strapped for cash, but your friend is thinking about the money you spent on non-essentials before repaying your debt to him.

If I were you, I would call him on the phone and begin the conversation with, "Hello. I just want you to know how sorry I am that money has come between us. I do value your friendship and did not mean to offend you by only sending $50.00. How can we make this right and get back to a good place?"

Then let him speak. If he also agrees that it is a shame that the money has come between you, work it out and make a concerted effort to pay him back before you spend any money on non-essentials.

You actually might be the asshole unless you are eating Ramen noodles for dinner every night and spending zero cash on entertainment. Only you know if you have frittered away money that could have been saved up for him.

[Timothy]

Your friend is and asshole....

[Mr. Roboto]

You actually might be the asshole unless you are eating Ramen noodles for dinner every night and spending zero cash on entertainment. Only you know if you have frittered away money that could have been saved up for him.

This is true.

[*D*]

Well, I think your friend may have been able to express himself a bit more diplomatically. He was probably thinking $50.00 is a paltry amount of money based on the time period you have had the guitar back in your possession. If you do the math and assume you have been in possession of the guitar since around Thanksgiving, that is approximately 10 weeks. He is probably thinking that $50.00 divided by 10 (weeks) is $5.00 per week. Maybe he would have been less offended if you had sent him $100.00 which would amount to $10.00 per week.

He is probably sitting around thinking that you wasted at least $5.00 a week on some shit combo meal from a fast food joint and feels slighted. Granted, you may have been strapped for cash, but your friend is thinking about the money you spent on non-essentials before repaying your debt to him.

If I were you, I would call him on the phone and begin the conversation with, "Hello. I just want you to know how sorry I am that money has come between us. I do value your friendship and did not mean to offend you by only sending $50.00. How can we make this right and get back to a good place?"

Then let him speak. If he also agrees that it is a shame that the money has come between you, work it out and make a concerted effort to pay him back before you spend any money on non-essentials.

You actually might be the asshole unless you are eating Ramen noodles for dinner every night and spending zero cash on entertainment. Only you know if you have frittered away money that could have been saved up for him.

True but remember, I offered to make weekly payments and he said not to worry, i could just pay him when i got it.. I assumed he was cool till income Tax time cause I told him a dozen times it would take me a bit.

honestly, Since GNR concert, I haven't been anywhere or done much of anything. no movies,clothes,cds, anything really. just the essentials food/gas/bills

[*D*]

On a side note, its all good now, I sent him half the other day and he text me and thanked me and we got back talking. Gonna meet up in a couple weeks and go eat or something which makes me feel good. Get income tax next Friday and will send the rest. Things only end your friendships if u let them.

I don't know any friend I haven't had some sort of conflict or falling out with at some point or another.... maybe that isn't a good thing.... maybe I am an asshole hahahaha

[Mr. Roboto]

Did he ever give you a reason why he changed his tune like that?