128 replies to this topic

[LISA]

sounds like the title of a 80's porn movie

[Timothy]

Quickly copyrights that title.

[Macker]

[LISA]

just when I was going to go to bed...now I have to stay up a bit longer to burn that memory from behind my eyes...William Hung's older,weirder, mentally challenged half brother?

[Macker]

But is he really Hung? Apparently nawt.

[LISA]

I guess I can forget the forecasted 8- 12 inches...**sigh.... hahaaha

[Timothy]

yeah it's more of a 1.5 inches.

[freedom78]

Freedom78's Muthafuckin' (Not) Live Blog of That New Star Wars Flick

 

(6:30) Arrived at the theatre and showed our super special secret passes.  Some kid says he's there to watch The Good Dinosaur for the fourth time.  Really kid?  Cause I'm here to see fucking Star Wars.  Early.  So suck it.

 

(7:00) Apparently "free" means being stuck in the lobby for 30 minutes in a high-pressure, extra butter sales pitch.

 

(7:05) First thoughts about the crowd.  MY GOD, THE ACNE!  SO MUCH ACNE!  AND BENT OVER BUTT-CRACNE!

 

(7:07) Now a sales pitch from the fuckers who gave out the "free" tickets.  Call this one Star Whores: The Greed Awakens. 

 

(7:20) Finally we're getting started.  Oh, fuck.  Previews.

 

(9:47) Previews are over.  Why are these turds cheering the opening credits?  Maybe their hands are tingling...too much butter.

 

(9:50) These ARE the droids I'm looking for!

 

(10:02) Why is this The Force Awakens?  They used the force in movies 4, 5, 6, and then 1, 2, 3…was the force fucking groggy?  Needed its morning shower and coffee?

 

(10:13) Han Solo.  Sounds like a masturbation reference or a very boring ham sandwich.

 

(10:28) Why “Darth” Vader?  Shouldn’t it be Dark Vader?  His suit’s all black and shit.

 

(10:41) You know what this movie needs is some kinda retarded, Aunt Jamima talkin’ amphibian.

 

(10:55) Now that the Empire’s fallen, do you think Rebel Commander Bremer will disband the Imperial military?  Can’t have them running around causing trouble!

 

(11:03) How is it that no one ever got Kevin Smith into one of these movies...some kind of cook at the Jedi temple or maybe a chubby chaser/hanger on for a later-in-life Princess Leia?  Still holds up:

 

 

(11:14) So what's up with all the new ships?  I mean, the Empire was a brutally authoritarian regime and those aren't typified by a strong middle class.  What I'm saying is this.  First, the idea of widely accessible space flight is a little absurd.  It's cost prohibitive and for Han Solo to have his own ship in the original franchise would have essentially made him the Warren Buffett of a galaxy far, far away.  But he's a criminal, so I can accept that things don't jive in that instance.  But now that the universe's biggest purchaser of military equipment has fallen and has left behind what I've established to be a weak middle class (which should be essential to a space faring civilization both as a consumer base for space travel and also as a burgeoning class of owners of space ventures)...so who's buying all these new ships?

 

(11:32) Wait. The bad guys wear white?  I have to rethink this whole franchise.

 

(11:46) In 1977, Millenium Falcon sounded futuristic.  Now it sounds retro.

 

(11:55) So awesome that they used real songs for the soundtrack, instead of all that symphonic shit.  My fave from the movie:

 

[Mr. Roboto]

We said no spoilers mofo! 

 

(Droid pic was cool though.) 

[freedom78]

Literally planning to leave for the movie in 15 minutes...if there's a spoiler above, it's chance.

[Mr. Roboto]

Literally planning to leave for the movie in 15 minutes...if there's a spoiler above, it's chance.

 

Have fun. Looks awesome. 

[Mr. Roboto]

Four guys and their budget conscious Star Wars costumes

[artcinco]

[Adolf Hitler]

I have zero expectations for this. I loved the trilogy when I was a kid but haven't watched it since. I watched the prequels for Natalie Portman. 

 

I read a couple reviews from people on another site and it looks like the insanely positive reviews were horse shit drivel bought and paid for by the studios and many are disappointed with the film. I've said it many times but this trilogy needed to be done in the 80s and if not, in the late 90s-early 00s. The prequels could have happened much later on.

 

Looks to be safe, cookie cutter fluff meant to get enough asses in seats to make a few billion. It was going to shatter box office records no matter what so why not spend time attempting to make the story stand up with the original trilogy?

 

I'm going to wait awhile to watch it. I'll wait for the hype to die down in a few months and download a DVD screener from the torrents. 

[PERM BANNED]

Do not read this if you haven't watched it yet!

 

 

Spoiler

I am so disappointed.  The acting and story itself was fantastic!  But I'm a huge Star Wars nerd.  How the hell did Rey just become a badass Jedi?  Kylo-Ren had years of training.  Even if Rey is secretly Luke's daughter, her powers far exceed Anakin's and Luke's if she's innately able to use Jedi Mind Tricks and the Force.  She overpowered Ren and took the lightsaber from him?  Come on!  He obviously has advanced training as shown with his numerous acts (he froze a plasma bolt in place!), and this girl who just learned of the Force hours/days ago, is now suddenly a Jedi.  It just ruins it for me.